The Art of the Silent Fart (possibly a way to prove artistic skill?)

* From this point forward I will refer to the American Fart as the Fluff in honor of my friend, Jemma, who is from Wales.

Have you ever noticed how some people have perfected the art of silent fluffing in hopes of pinning the blame on someone else? Some get so good at it they actually believe it wasn't them! My dad is so good at it, he doesn't even know someone farted at all! For instance, it's a hot summer day. Dad is, ofcourse, our chauffeur driving us who knows where in a van with the windows up and little to no AC. All is well, and then it hits you, the smell of day-old death! Ofcourse followed by cries of "Geez, Dad! Was that you?! Roll down a window! All of them! Can we stop so I can vomit?" His reply, after being shaken out of a daydream (or the male 'nothing box') "What? Oh, yeah, sure. Why? What's going on?" Dad, you're awesome! Just wanted you to know I do actually think about you.

...disclaimer: Artistic license has been taken. He has been well trained to immediately roll down his window. ...then we all follow suit and hold our breath like we're going into a gas chamber. I think that's why that part of basic training in the Army didn't bother me so much... I felt like I was at home! J/K ... I snotted and cried worse than a small child/baby.

(This is some of the stuff I think about as I try to fall asleep)
I love all of you and hope I haven't offended anyone! If I did, why'd you read it?